Being a parent is literally the hardest job I’ve ever had. There are days I just feel like I can’t do it. Days where I question my sanity and logic in bringing a child on this earth. Moments when I am angry that I can’t use the bathroom in peace and laughing seeing her little fingers underneath the door when I try to lock it. It is challenging and both rewarding. I often get overwhelmed with emotion and anxiety at the thought of being responsible for a life and having feelings this deep for another human, a little human I’d give my life for. Some days I do a great job and some days I fail. Motherhood is a responsibility that I believe should be taken seriously. The component of mental health is so important because I subscribe to the belief that if as a mother you are not well, neither will your child be.

MOTHERHOOD IS A CHALLENGING JOB

It requires you to be the caregiver, teacher, and boss of your kids. As a result, it can become difficult to manage work and family life in the best way possible.

YOU ARE FORCED TO ADDRESS YOUR OWN ISSUES

I’d like to think that every mother even in the midst of their own mistakes want their children to feel loved, but I can only speak for myself in saying that it is hard demonstrating love that you might not have received. It is hard exuding a healthy form of love when all you’ve known is chaos. I spent a long time in this life searching for love. Being willing to accept scraps just to feel validated and worthy. Those are things that I never want any child to do and grow to an adult being. We often as mothers and even fathers don’t realize the low hanging fruit of our pain that we pass down and how we keep producing more children to further pass that pain and even hate. It is imperative that if nothing else to work on overcoming your own trauma as not to be that parent who can’t see the forest from the trees. The parent who hands down the abuse they received or the lack of love they were never given. I don’t want any children of mine always being in survival mode. I don’t want fight or flight; I want peace for them and that can only occur by having peace within self… some days are better than others.

I NEVER QUITE UNDERSTOOD THE SACRIFICE

Until I became a mom and knew that I wanted the absolute best for my children. Which meant giving up things, I don’t always want to give up. Having emotions that I am not always able to understand and address. Making decisions that I might not normally make. Considering factor I may not normally consider and carrying a burden, I didn’t quite understand.

WHAT COMES NEXT?

For every mom who is currently struggling not only as a parent, but with self:

I need you to know that you are worthy of any all things great. You are magical. You are enough. But most importantly you are loved if by no one else, your children. Our children at all times deserve the best. It is my belief we should want them to be better than us. Be kinder and be more than many of us have been in both spirit and in emotion. Understand that mental struggles take time. Go through this world with compassion doing the best you can without judgement. Extend grace, not only to others, but yourself. Learn to be good to you.

Make peace with your own mistakes and know that you have support every step of the way.

If you know of someone or are currently going through postpartum depression or looking for further support in your motherhood journey, check out my non-profit www.partumevolutiion.org

Signed in Light, in Love, and in Laughter

Sasha Nicole