Human beings abhor change. We love the familiar. The comfort zone. The idea of disrupting our “normal” fills us with dread.

The irony is that it is when we embrace change in our life that we can expect to move forward in earnest. To grow. Heal. Move on. Or turn a page.

Yet, we often resist making that step, especially when it comes to people or things we hold dear, even when we know too well that we’ll be better off for it.

It is why many people stick in unfulfilling or abusive romantic relationships. Some are terrified of being single, others are afraid they’ll never find a better partner like the current despite the partner’s obvious quirks, while there are those who find the prospect of breaking up or the idea of starting over crippling.

Thus, you’ll often find people coasting through relationships like these in the hope that things might change for the better even when the chances are slim. Some even go the lengths of tying the knot with someone they feel ambivalent about, only for their fears to be confirmed later when they sadly realize getting into marriage was a mistake. Which is depressing really.

It’s also the fear of change that keeps some people in a demoralizing job or makes them stick to a career they have no passion for. The fear of quitting their current post in search of greener pastures is frightening. Some are simply reluctant to make the leap into a different career path for fear of the unknown. Many others convince themselves that it’s better staying put than striking out in a new direction.

And you can’t blame them really.

Creatures of Habit

We humans are creatures of habit, so much so that sometimes we may choose unhappiness over uncertainty, as the examples we just alluded to go to show.

We are hardwired to resist discomfort, which is what change entails (at least at first), instead opting to do what makes us feel good, comfortable and secure; even when that’s to our own detriment.

Then again, life is dynamic. It requires us to keep evolving as that’s the only we can grow as individuals. As much as we may want to retain the status quo, resisting change – willingly or inadvertently – is only going to lead to one thing: stagnation.

If you’ve ever found yourself in the situation, you would agree there are few things as soul-sapping as stagnation; being stuck in the humdrum. It’s the reason you feel awful stuck in that dreadful job. Or relationship.

Life demands that we continuously keep bettering ourselves. To change what isn’t working or that which doesn’t serve us anymore, however unenthusiastic we may feel about the prospect of change. Because like our closets, there’s always something in our lives that needs getting rid.

Some of us are serial hoarders, but even they would acknowledge that it is when we purge the old that we can make room for the new. What else the purging process achieves is getting rid of old energies. We may not look forward to the process and the work involved, but when all is done and dusted, we feel like a weight has been lifted off our shoulders.

This is why spring cleaning feels so reinvigorating. It’s work, but there’s no doubt that the resultant feeling is magical. We feel fresh. Reborn. We gain new perspectives that would otherwise have been lost on us. And start noticing and appreciating even the little things we tend to ignore when caught up in the bustle of life.

We feel alive.

Letting Go

There’s a certain freedom that comes from accepting and making that change we know too well that we ought to make. Because we usually do. The inner voice is always speaking to us, and the onus is on us to listen and take action.

A lot of us ignore that voice because often the case it’s urging us to shake things up.

Of course, we have a choice to take heed or not. Disregarding our intuition is the easy way out, but it’s only a matter of time until we get a reality check. Our inner compass knows what’s best for us and gives us signals meant to steer us in the right direction, even when that entails letting go of some people in our lives or things we hold or once held dear.

Like a snake shedding its old skin or like when we prune dead branches, it’s in our best interests when we are able to let go of that which no longer fits or serves us as that’s what’s needed at this point in our lives.

Yet, we rarely do…

Ushering change in our lives requires us to be intentional about it. It’s not easy living behind people or things that have played a central role in our lives. If we don’t make deliberate effort to, we risk getting stuck and in turn, losing out on the opportunities that life is beckoning us to take.

Learning to let go of things or people who don’t do it for us anymore is about learning to trust. Having the belief that things will turn out okay. We need to trust that a new skin will grow in place of the old one; that new branches will develop when we trim the dead.

In Closing

Obviously, taking those first steps will not always easy. As you’ll realize over time, however, the fresh lease of life we get when we have freed ourselves from a situation that was draining us will far outstrip the adversity we might undergo to get there.

When we stop clinging or holding on to something that no longer fits, we realize there really is a life beyond it. There always was.

Make no mistake, change is not easy – but it’s necessary and can be valuable.

What are you holding onto right now that no longer serves you?